What inspired today’s post on maintaining healthy friendships is the Tv show Insecure. Insecure is honestly one of my favorite shows and each season I get more and more excited for what Issa Rae and the crew have in store for us. I mean who doesn’t love a predominately black cast, that showcases black love and friendships with a nice tinge of humor and drama. I didn’t think so. Now I don’t know if any of you all watch the show but beware there are some spoilers coming up.
The most obvious theme of this season I would say is friendships; zeroing in especially on Molly and Issa’s burgeoning rocky one. Watching these last couple of episodes had me think about my own friendships in the past. Friends that I drifted apart from and ones I can’t imagine living without.
Friendships lessons I picked up from the show and overall life
- Some friendships are not meant to last. I think that is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Once we leave that institutionalized structure of school, church, and mandatory family gatherings, you realize that your values have changed. Those friends that used to influence your childhood shenanigans and entertain your young, naive mind no longer fit into the new and improved version of you. And the tea is…that is ok!
- Priorities matter. I personally think there should never be an ultimatum between your partner and best friend. It’s all about balance. I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you are prioritizing your boyfriend over your long-time best friend…Im sorry, you’re sick. You need help. I mean all Molly had to do was ask Andrew for a favor that could potentially change Issa’s life. It would have been up to him to say yes or no. But the fact that she made it seem that the simple task of asking was too much had me heated.
- Make time for friends. I think this is so important. With Molly and Issa, they had Self-care Sundays. Both women extremely busy, but still made time to see each other. They made it their tradition. However, in the show, once I saw those excuses rolling in, I knew it was only a matter of time before things started going south. You can always make time for people you truly care about. It could be a movie marathon, maybe a yearly trip with friends you haven’t seen in a while or even something as simple as brunch. As we get older its gets harder to see your favorite person every day. That is why those weekly, monthly, and yearly traditions are so important to keep up.
- Comminucation is key. This saying doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. Communication is key to an awesome friendship as well. As best friends you do not need to agree with everything the other person is saying. But definitely watch how you say it. The best thing about friends is that you should feel comfortable expressing your emotions and thoughts without judgment. If you’re constantly trying to check me, well I’m going to stop telling you things so I don’t feel judged. This is not me trynna say you shouldn’t take criticism, but that tone is SO important. When I go to my friends after I mess up, BELIEVE ME I know I messed up, but I’m going to you because I just need to be comforted. If I wanted to get checked every time I messed up I would have just went to my mom.
That being said, I think it is so important for women to have their own group of women to go to during a crisis. Not a guy sorry. Guys bring chaos. I also truly believe that you shouldn’t force friendships as well. You don’t need the whole world cheering you on, Sometimes one is enough.
Havent read my last blog post? Here the link: https://living-lex.com/black-art-series-titus-kaphar/
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